Lord, i want to return to You, receive me as your servant

Sometimes it takes little things in life to draw our attention back to our mighty God. This day, the taps ran dry again. I was in my church camp in a resort in Malaysia. It struck me. It struck me on how i had forgotten His love. I remembered giving thanks each and every day when i turned on the taps in Cambodia. Each morning when there is water, i know He had provided. However after returning for a year and a half, i adpated back to the lifestyle in Singapore. I forgotten to give thanks.
I remembered His love. Lord, I want to return to you. Receive me as one of your servants.

Now i understand. Teach me Lord.

Judging others.

I have been thinking. Dear Lord, many times i hear you, but i just cant do it. Many times i understood Your ways, but i just cant follow.

Comprehend? Yes i do. Practice? Sorry, it's too difficult.

My boys, now i understand. You do hear me and understood the consequences. But when temptations get real, you just cant resist.

Regrets? Yes.

Doubts? Yes.

I question your sincerity.

Lord, forgive me for judging. Forgive me looking at the speck of sawdust in my brothers' eyes and yet paying no attention to the plank in my own eye. Teach me to extend mercy. Teach me to extend grace.Teach me to deny myself. Teach me dear Lord, to love even when it goes against my will and comfort.

Choices. Consequences.

Dear Lord, i dont understand. I dont understand why. After so many warnings, so many chances. They knew the consequences, yet, they chose their options. They knew the outcomes, yet they chose their ways.

Theft. The lure of money. The pitfall of greed.

Fired.
Homeless.
Confined.
Jailed.

Four youths made their choices in isolation. They are now facing the consequences.
Four, is four too many. What will their future hold?
I am disturbed. Is choice and consequence too high a cognitive concept to comprehend?

Dear Lord Jesus, I pray, please teach us ways to reach your children. Teach us to love and discipline them as you love and discipline us. Grant us wisdom Lord to extend a firm hand when it is needed. Grant us extra patience Lord to listen to them. Teach us Lord to extend mercy and grace. Teach us humility to understand their struggles. Soften us Lord that we may see them in your image.Use us Lord.

Forgiveness

'Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift' - Matthew 5:23-24

This is a familiar verse to me and i simply brushed it aside when i read it last week during one of my Quiet Moments with God.

'Lord, i am not angry with anyone. There isnt anyone that i need to reconcile with. I couldnt think of anyone who would be angry with me too.'

I was wrong.

God in His loving discipline had to be reveal this to me in the most unexpected manner. I was forced to come face to face with the issue, seemingly buried deep within me. It has been almost 10 years. i had grown. But I still couldnt comprehend. I refused to love freely. I was cautious.i held to my rights to feel hurt.I refused to forgive. Time numbed the pain, but it didnt heal. I know i had to make a choice.

Lord, would you please help me. Help me to forgive them, help me to forgive myself. Help me to surrender my rights to anger, my rights to hurts and my rights to pains. Help me Lord, to love as you love me. Help me Lord to serve, as you called me.

Dear friends, how are you doing recently?

Everything I do, I do it for you (Bryan Adams)



Had a song that never fails to warm your heart?

My heart warmed and skipped a beat when i heard this song over the radio today. Perhaps it is a cold night and the warmth comforted me.It brought back beautiful and sweet memories..... memories when i first heard this song - sung to me almost a decade ago. I couldnt exactly remember how i felt then, but i know it is sweet.

Out of the blue as i was travelling on the crowded MRT today, i thought of another very dear friend whom i dont often contact. I dont often think of her, but today, just today, i missed her and wondered how she is doing.It has been many many years and i know she wouldnt change her number. I sent her a sms, strangely ending the msg with my name - just in case she doesnt have my number anymore.She replied saying "Tks.I'm fine too.Was just toking abt you with xxx yester.......U always like children so it didnt came as a surprise that u r teaching now.How's teaching 4 u?Plan 2 return 2 social svs sector?"
It touched me that a friend who is seemingly far away cared enough to even talked about me with someone else.It is heartwarming to be reminded that a friend knows me - my likes and dislikes, my good and bad. Bittersweet memories of our times together were retrieved in my mind.

As i ponder tonight, i am thankful for the numerous sweet and bitter memories that i had. I am thankful for the numerous friends who loved me unconditionally. I am thankful for events past that moulded me into what i am today.

Dear friends, how are you doing lately?

I will lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help comes from?

This psalm was shared to me a day apart from 2 different people.Thank you Father, for this reminder that you are still in control and that my help comes from You alone.

These weeks have been overwhelming for me. Perhaps it is my own expectations. Perhaps it is my own anxieties. Perhaps it is my time management. Perhaps i had learned to ignore it. Perhaps, perhaps. Perhaps. But i know it is time to make changes in my life ....NOW!

Thank God for the wake up call last saturday when i broke down and cried during my church activity - in the public. We were in the midst of a game - 'Block Catching', they call it. The flat just seems so daunting, too overwhelming. Fear gripped me. When i was left all alone on the 12th floor, my thoughts scare me. Paralysed. I cried. I was scared. Somehow thinking back, i have never felt that despair, that lost and that darkness before.

It really scares me.

I know it is time to make changes now.


Lord, You will be my strength and shield.

There is a time for everything ......a time to weep and a time to LAUGH .....(Ecc 3:4)

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones - Proverbs 17:22

When was the last time you laughed so hard that you cried? When was the last time you laughed till your tummy aches?



WAHAHAHAHAHHA ;o)

Temptations

I was young and now I am old,
yet i have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread - Psalm 37:25

Dear friend,

You broke my heart when i saw you that day - drunk. You arent like that in the past. Since i known you, that was the first time my heart turned cold during our conversation. You said things which sadden me. YOu made remarks which i didn't want to hear. You made suggestions and revealed dreams which warmed my heart. You made comments that lit a light in me. But who are you? You seemed so distant. I seemed to have forgotten you.

It's strange when i rode in your BIG car the next day. Our relationship have changed. Our status have changed. We have changed. Strangely in the short ride in the familiar dark road, i recalled that Christmas eve when we were trapped in the car - i was hungry, alone and cold. You were there. We laughed. We both missed our families, didnt we? I remembered the numerous times when the vehicles broke down. We prayed. We trusted. We survived, didnt we? I remembered those times. Those times when i couldnt call you friend yet.

Circumstances changed. Status changed. We changed. Have our values changed too?

I recalled the numerous times when we discussed about corruption. I recalled the anger we felt when we were at the mercy of those policemen, those officials, those teachers. We were indignant about it, didnt we? You had your dreams about your own country, about the future generations, about the values you want to pass on. You trusted in HIM to provide, didnt you? You held your principles in tough times, you made your tough choice when circumstances went against what you believed. YOu trusted Him to provide, didnt you? You went against the tide to hold on to your values. You fought for what you wanted - a clear conscience. You stood your ground, didnt you?

What happened? Had circumstances really changed? or have we changed? I remembered a friend once rebuking me saying,' Xiuli, don't judge. You have never been really poor before. You have never turly known hunger before. YOu have never experienced true loss, oppression and hardships before. Do not judge the people.'

Dear friend, i judge you not. But you broke His heart. You broke mine too. You broke His heart when you made excuses for your intended plans. You broke His heart when you compromised your values. You broke His heart when you chose to turn away from Him. Dear friend, it is still not too late. You remembered our session on Right and Wrong, don't you? You said you did. PLease dont take the wrong turn. Our Lord has said," Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever. For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off; the righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever." (Psalm 37:27 - 29)

Dear friend, it is still not too late. Turn back, please turn back.

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you;never will i forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" - Hebrews 13:5 - 6

Remember,God is good ALL the time.He will provide.

Praying for you,
your friend

Dear Lord Jesus,
I pray, i just pray for your mercy and grace for your children living in the oppressed country of Cambodia. Dear Lord, i pray for conviction for your children to stand firm and rooted in your word. Dear LOrd, i pray for strength and courage for your children to go against the tide, to remain faithful in their deeds. Dear Lord, i pray for your prescence to be with them when they are tempted, when they struggle. Dear LOrd, i pray for your Hands to comfort them when they are hardpressed. I pray dear Lord, Your children will shine forth as light and hope in the darken land. Dear LOrd, i pray, keep them and protect them against the lust of human nature.

Your child,
xiuli

Expectations ......disappointments......

Expectations - a double edged sword.

We expect others to give their minutes, but often we dont do the same for them. We expect and are often disappointed. We experienced disappointment. But why are we doing the same to others?

How can we be a salt and light when we cant even spare a few minutes of our time to something seemingly trival to us, yet of upmost importance to the other?

How do we show the world we care about their lives, when we are not willing to give a few minutes of our time and effort?

How do we love, when we dont give?

How do we preach, when we dont practice?

How do we serve, when we dont sacrifice?

How do we light up, when we dont burn?

So you would come

Father, you see my thoughts, my tears, my fears. Lord, take them and make me whole.




Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

Home?

I was in Cambodia for the past 2 weeks ......lots memories, lots thoughts. It felt strange seeing the familiar sights, recalling the familiar faces, smelling the familiar smells, touching the familiar hands, hearing the familiar language.

It felt so surreal - almost like i was in a movie. I went with the intention to take lots photos....to capture moments, places that i did not have the opportunity to do so before i left abruptly a year ago. But i just couldnt. I only took a few. Afterall, how often do we take photos of places in Singapore - a place we call home.

Denial? perhaps. but this time i held back my tears.

Small steps at a time ......slowly but surely you are a step nearer to your dreams

I had a long and draining day in school today. At the end of the two and a half hour session with 3 students,my colleague and myself simply collasped into our chairs, drained and brain dead......fullfilling nonetheless.

It was a very simple task that we assigned to them..... a task which would normally take an average adult less than half an hour to complete. But for them, it consist of two long sessions of brainstorming and a third one next week. It was draining as we prompted for simple answers, for simple solutions, for simple calculations. It was tempting to simply jump in to take control, to take over. We held back. We questioned, we left them with no choice but to really use their brains and think. We dont take no for an answer. There must be a solution. How? How? How?

When i witnessed their pride as they answered the questions, as they came up with solutions themselves, i saw something beyond them......i saw their tinge of confidence emerging. COnfidence....something so remotely familiar to them.

Today, i saw beauty in them. I was privileged to witness their minds opening up to possibilities, to ideas, to solutions. I saw them brimming with pride when they conquered the 'i don't know'. I saw them gaining confidence when they problem-solved one after another issue that cropped up. I saw their joy when they realised that they are capable of handling important tasks afterall.

Dear children, it is one small step at a time, slowly but surely, i know with each brave steps that you take, you are one step nearer to achieving your dreams. As long as you dont give up, we will be walking beside you when you need us; we will be walking behind you when you are ready. We will be your cheer leaders. Go on dear children, go on and i believe you can acheive your dreams!

Dear Jesus, help us Lord to press on. Grant us extra love, extra patience for your children. Grant us wisdom Lord, as we deal with each and every child. Grant us discerment Lord as we intervened with the difficult cases. Teach us to be merciful and gracious children. Thank you for hearing our prayers.

your child,
xiuli

My life is in Your Hands

You don't have to worry
And don't you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning
Troubles they don't last always
For there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say

Oh
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

So when your tests and trials
They seem to get you down
And all your friends and loved ones
Are nowhere to be found
Remember there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if you heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say

Oh
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear JEsus, help me to focus my gaze upon you. Help me to turn to you want i can barely carry on. Help me LOrd, help me. My life is in Your Hands.

your child

Drifting......

Dear Lord,

I am sorry. I am sorry that i have drifted far from you. It is with shame when i checked list myself against the Ten Commandments. I have placed many small gods above you. I am sorry. I have not honoured your Name, i have been bitter. I murdered with my thoughts, i lied. I had been discontented. I had not spent time with my father and mother. I did not keep my sabbath.I am sorry. Fogive me.

LOrd, i pray that You will lead me back to You again. I pray for a rekindle in my spirit for Your word, for Your people. I pray for stillness in my heart that i can hear you once again. Lord, i pray that my heart will not turn cold.

For this reason we MUST pay much closer attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away from it. Heb 2:1

Lord, hear my prayers

I offer my life


Your child.

Dear boy

Dear 'boy',

Hi, you finally came to school today. From the day school reopened, i had been looking out for you. You never turned up. Each day, i scanned through the crowd of students, waiting in apprehensive anticipation to see you. I was eager to see you again, yet i was fearful.

It was tough seeing you today. My heart skipped a beat when i saw you. My heart wrenched when i saw the blood on you. I am sorry i just couldnt bring myself to clean you up. I am afraid i might just break down. When our eyes met, i saw the tinge of surprise in you. You do remember me dont you? At least you remembered my face.

Dear 'boy', you had grown. You must have gone through lots since we last met about 3 years ago. You must have gone through lots, since i first met you 5 years ago.You had grown. I often visualize the day when we will meet again. I just had so much to tell you...to tell you how much i love you, to tell you you are really a good boy, to tell you there are many many others who cared for you, to tell you i often pray and think about you when i was away, to tell you though i may have left you physically, you are often in my heart. I just want to tell you so many many things....but i just couldnt bring myself to.

I saw that tinge of hope and surprise in you when we met again during recess. You do remember me, dont you? My heart just cries out for you.

Dear 'boy', i am glad we met again. I had never meant to hurt you that day when I said goodbye. I am sorry. You never knew, but it pains me and tore my heart when i turned and walked out of the house that day. I know i may never see you again.I had never meant to step into your life and hurt you when i stepped out. You had never left my heart. I know deep down leaving you in the house may not be the perfect solution, but it was the best alternative then. I left you in the arms of Jesus, praying that He will protect you. You had never left my heart.

Dear 'boy', it was hard seeing you today. After all the anticipation, it just wrenched my heart to see you. My short journey with you flooded through my mind .....i remembered when i first met you. You were a terror. I remembered that day when you sat there with your accusing eyes, pouring out your hurts when i did not turn up for you when you were shouting for me that night in the 'jungle'. I remembered the days when i visited you late in the nights in the hospital, bringing you your favourite Roti prata all because you didnt like the curry served there. I remembered that Sunday morning when you went unconscious and shut your body, i remembered my frantic journey with you to A&E. I remembered how you slurps your food and didnt like rice, all because you didnt knew how to chew then. I remembered the hurts and disappointments in your eyes when things happened in your family. I remembered your eyes that ran wide, when you supressed and didnt know how to express yourself. I remembered your wide smile and how you enjoyed the Christmas tree. I remembered when you went missing at the Indoor Stadium during the Disney on ICe show and i had to inform the security guards to assist in finding you. I remembered the days when you just couldnt bring yourself to bathe and days when you just couldnt cared anymore. I remembered days when you were really good. I remembered your kind heart when you protected and shielded the little vulnerable ones. I remembered your eagerness to learn, to share and to love on your better days. I remembered the sparkles in your eyes when you are happy.I remembered, yes i remembered.

'Boy', i dont blame you. The system had failed you. My heart cries for the tears that had long dried in you. I shed your long forgotten tears. My dear child, i had never told you ......of each little lives that i had crossed, you left a permanent print in me. You taught me a lot.

I still love you deeply.

Praying for you,
jie jie xiuli

Dear Mr Jesus

Dear Mr. Jesus, I just had to write to you
Something really scared me, when I saw it on the news
A story 'bout a little girl beaten black and blue
Jesus, thought I'd take this right to you

Dear Mr. Jesus, I don't understand
Why they took her mom and dad away
I know that they don't mean to hit with wild and angry hands
Tell them just how big they are I pray

Please don't let them hurt your children
We need love and shelter from the storm
Please don't let them hurt your children
Won't you keep us safe and warm

Dear Mr. Jesus, they say that she may die
Oh I hope the doctors stop the pain
I know that you could save her and take her up to the sky
So she would never have to hurt again

Please don't let them hurt your children.
Dear Mr. Jesus, please tell me what to do
And please don't tell my daddy
But my mommy hits me, too.

Please don't let them hurt your children...

words and music by Richard Klender

I am a servant

I Am A Servant

I am a servant, I am listening for my name
I sit here waiting I've been looking at the game
That I've been playing and I've been staying much the same
When you are lonely you're the only one to blame

I am a servant, I am waiting for Your call
I've been unfaithful so I sit here in the hall
How can You use me when I've never given all
How can You choose me when You know I quickly fall

So You feed my soul and you make me grow
And you let me know You love me
And I'm worthless now but I've made a vow
I will humbly bow before You
Oh please use me, I am lonely

I am a servant, getting ready for my part
There's been a change, a rearrangement in my heart
At last I'm learning there's no returning once I start
To live's a privilege, to love is such an art
But I need Your help to start
Oh please purify my heart
I am your servant

© Larry Norman

Dear Lord, purify my heart. Dear Lord, teach me to give you my all. Dear Lord, reign in me. Dear Lord, teach me to be Your servant. I am Yours.

For you ......my best friend

HAd a long and productive day today ......physically very tired, but mind still very active. I know i need to rest. I know my body is collapsing with the 5 - 6 hours of sleep daily. However, sometimes, sleep is such a dreadful and fearful thing. Not that i am not enjoying my work, its just that everytime i sleep, time passes so quickly, and the next day begins. A new day of activities and work.

Today, my mind ran wild. I thought of my past......my secondary school days. I find it heartwarming that different songs reminds me of different periods of my life......songs that reminds me of the someone, songs that reminds of an event, songs that reminds me of my tears and hurts, songs that reminds me of my joys.

Today, i remembered this song.i remembered my best friend. She once told me that this song always brings tears to her eyes. I couldnt exactly remember in what context she made that statement, but i remembered her and i love her dearly still. This is for you......i remembered you today and i still love you very much. Thank you for being my best friend, for the wonderful times we shared, for the tears we shed. Glad we are still in contact.

You are my first and perhaps last best friend i will ever have. I never dared to have another best friend after our secondary school days.

Today i asked God for an ice cream

Todays marks the start of a hectic 2 weeks ahead as we prepare for the commencement of the workshops next week, the briefings for teachers and parents and the kick start of the prevocational program for the students in term 2. It was a long and tiring day and i dozed off in the long train ride home in the hot afternoon ....... As my train draws into Yishun mrt station, i uttered specifically and simply,"God, i want an ice cream, those kind on a motor bike outside the mrt station".

As far as i can rememeber, i did not see the ice cream man there for sometime. NEver had i ever bought ice cream from the ice cream man parked outside the mrt station. It struck me as strange and weird that i would even utter such a request. Lo and behold! As i walked out of the station, i saw the familiar ice cream man's umbrella on his motorbike! My sudden request puzzled me. I had NEVER made such request before. His providence amazes me......my LOrd hears even my small prayer.

Today, i asked God for an ice cream and He gave it to me.

Thank You Father, for reminding me once again of your great, steadfast and unfailing love to me. Thank you for even using this small gesture to show me, remind me and assure me of your presence. Thank you for hearing my each and every thought and prayers. Thank You Father, for using this manner to cheer me on in this journey. Thank you Lord ;o)

I bought a marvellous 60cents chocolate ice cream ;o)

Dao Cao Ren

Today i realised i had grown ......grown stronger. Perhaps i dont want to feel, perhaps i choose not to feel, perhaps i really dont feel or perhaps i am in denial ......, but in all, i learnt to keep myself in check. I learnt to deny the upheaval deep within, and moved on with a smile. I had grown. I dont cry anymore. I learnt not to. I dont talk about things anymore. I learnt not to. I dont ventilate out anymore. I must learn not to.

Today i realised that i had grown.

In Christ ALONE

Dear Father,
TEach me to turn to You in each and every circumstance. TEach me to glaze upon You and seek You in my each and every step. Guide me and lead me Lord.....for only in You i want to place my trust.Father,i place my steps ahead into Your mighty and loving Hands. I know You only have the very best for me.
Thank You Father for loving me, for listening to me.

your child,
xiuli

Worthy is the Lamb

Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love, Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious

High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb



Dear JEsus,
Thank you for the cross. I am sorry.Forgive me.
Your child,
xiuli

THERE CAN BE MIRACLES IF YOU BELIEVE

When You Believe

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fear
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way safe through the rain
Thought of a still resilient voice
Says love is very near

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
Now you will
You will when you believe

You will when you believe
Just believe
Gotta believe
You will when you believe

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been a week of joys and disappointments, ups and downs.THere were times when i brimmed with pride as i watch the students performing so confidently and joyfully in their jobs; times when i shed tears and shared the disappointment when they did not pass the on-job-evaluation to qualify for the position. THere were times when i truly believed they can do it; times when i doubted and tough decisions have to be made.

Thank you Father, for granting us wisdom and strength. EVen when things did not go as we anticipated, we rest in deep assurance that You are still in control.
Father, i pray that as we continue to journey on with your children, grant us the patience and love to continue to encourage them, to be their greatest cheer leaders in their lives.
EVen when disappointments set in, Father, i pray that with You by our sides, we will journey on courageously, joyfully, and steadfastly with them.
Even when they give up on themselves, when no body believed that they can do it, Father, i pray that You will grant us the boldness to believe otherwise
Father, when the road ahead is dark and bumpy, i pray that You will continue to uplift us,to teach us to celebrate and rejoice even with the smallest step forward.
Father, we believe You are the LOrd of Miracles .....indeed there can be miracles in the lives of these children, if only we believe. Thank you for hearing our prayers. In JEsus' name we pray, amen.

The battle belongs to the Lord

THis song came very aptly during worship today......in preparation for the numerous battles i had to face in the week ahead......battles within myself, battles with numerous parties. As i see the email correspondences, my heart sank.i really dread the week ahead. Father, thank you for this timely reminder that the battles belongs to You. Raise me and lift me up. Father, i pray that in each and every step that i take, may it be a joyful worship unto you and you alone. I know you will carry me through the week. Thank you. In Jesus' name i pray, amen.

You raise me up

You Raise Me Up
by Josh Groban
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

Dear Father,
Indeed i am nothing without you. Thank you for lifting my spirits.
Your child,
xiuli

At the begining

At the Beginning

by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.

This is one of my all time favourite songs......this is for you ......;o)

Heaven's Very Special Child

After a long break and barely into my second week of work,I finally appreciate the value of weekend ......weekend that simply past so quickly. Ashamely, i dreaded returning to work.

But God is Good. In His wisdom and timely intervention, He reminded me once again how He bought me to into this job, and the purpose and work He has for me here. I was doing the morning duty today which involves 'patroling' the basketball court to ensure that the students on their morning walk dont fight. I stood there, watching them, with tears swelling in my eyes. Once again, the LOrd spoke into my weary heart. He saw my weariness, my anxieties, my fears in my unknown journey ahead. He granted me for the mintues as i stood there watching the children - to see them with His eyes, to feel them with His heart. I saw their simplicity, their joy. I saw them as His precious creations - each and every single one of them. I saw my purpose once again. Thank you Father, for granting me these special few mintues.Thank You Father, for renewing my heart for your children.

One particular incident strike me. A 15 year old boy ran towards another 15 year old or so boy who was simply seated at the chair and striked him hard on his head. I was taken aback when the second boy did not react or even shout back. He simply brushed off the incident. I was deeply touched. How often we react to situations when we were strike unexpectedly? How often we tend to defend ourselves, with the excuse of self defence? I need to learn Father, to remain still before you, and not to react to situations around me.

This is a poem which touched me greatly during my uni years.....i pray that dear LOrd, even as i am physically tired during this journey, i want to be faithful in journeying your goodness and Hands in my life. I know the road ahead is tough, but when i look back, i want to look back with sweetness and fondness knowing that You are with me and that Your Hands have carried me through as You always have done.

Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far away from earth
'It's time again for another birth,'
said the Angels to the Lord above
'This special child will need much love,
His progress may seem very slow
accomplishments he may not show.
And he'll require extra care
from the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play
His thoughs may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won't adapt
and he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent,
we want his life to be content.
PLease,Lord, find the parents who
will do this special job for you.
They will not realize right away,
the leading role they're asked to play.
But with this child sent from above
come stronger faith and richer love
and soon they'll know the privilege given
in caring for this gift from heaven
Their precious child so meek and mild
is "Heaven's very special child."

Author unknown

Thank you Lord for bringing these students to Grace Orchard. I know you have a special purpose for all the teachers and staff you have placed here. Father, i pray that you will grant each and everyone of us here patience, wisdom and love as we walk into these precious lives.

Thank you Father, i heard you......

Ended my day yesterday in broken spirit ...... then a friend messaged "Praying 4 ya and know that in all things, He is with u :-) Jos 1:9

In His gentle reassurance and whisper, my table calender today reads "Have I not commanded you?Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

How often do we receive the same verse on the same day? This is not the first time it happened to me. Thank you Father once again for your gentle assurance and whisper to my deafen ears and anxious heart.

Thank you.

Just keep on walking......

I am off for another journey at Grace ORchard School, a school for students (6 - 18years old) with Intellectual disability and autism. Working in a special school - something which i always wanted to do since uni days...and finally finally .... after 4 long years, i am here ;o) Bulk of my jobscope would be seeking employment and job attachments for the students who graduated and who are still in school.

I am barely into my first week at work and am already feeling physically tired. Think i need to adjust my body to waking up at 5/6am.

On top of which, i am feeling lost with lots to pick up.Its kind of a strange and unpleasant feeling which i always get when i move into a new job. Feeling rather overwhelmed at the information and stuff which i had to pick up. Constantly i had to remind myself to take it easy and give myself time.....

But i am glad...the LOrd is good. These days, i can almost verbally hear Him say, "Its ok my child. Though its dark, just keep on walking......though you cant see me, i am right beside you to lead and to cheer you on.I had brought you thus far, i would not leave you alone."

Thank you Father.

your child,
xiuli