Now i understand. Teach me Lord.

Judging others.

I have been thinking. Dear Lord, many times i hear you, but i just cant do it. Many times i understood Your ways, but i just cant follow.

Comprehend? Yes i do. Practice? Sorry, it's too difficult.

My boys, now i understand. You do hear me and understood the consequences. But when temptations get real, you just cant resist.

Regrets? Yes.

Doubts? Yes.

I question your sincerity.

Lord, forgive me for judging. Forgive me looking at the speck of sawdust in my brothers' eyes and yet paying no attention to the plank in my own eye. Teach me to extend mercy. Teach me to extend grace.Teach me to deny myself. Teach me dear Lord, to love even when it goes against my will and comfort.

Choices. Consequences.

Dear Lord, i dont understand. I dont understand why. After so many warnings, so many chances. They knew the consequences, yet, they chose their options. They knew the outcomes, yet they chose their ways.

Theft. The lure of money. The pitfall of greed.

Fired.
Homeless.
Confined.
Jailed.

Four youths made their choices in isolation. They are now facing the consequences.
Four, is four too many. What will their future hold?
I am disturbed. Is choice and consequence too high a cognitive concept to comprehend?

Dear Lord Jesus, I pray, please teach us ways to reach your children. Teach us to love and discipline them as you love and discipline us. Grant us wisdom Lord to extend a firm hand when it is needed. Grant us extra patience Lord to listen to them. Teach us Lord to extend mercy and grace. Teach us humility to understand their struggles. Soften us Lord that we may see them in your image.Use us Lord.

Forgiveness

'Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift' - Matthew 5:23-24

This is a familiar verse to me and i simply brushed it aside when i read it last week during one of my Quiet Moments with God.

'Lord, i am not angry with anyone. There isnt anyone that i need to reconcile with. I couldnt think of anyone who would be angry with me too.'

I was wrong.

God in His loving discipline had to be reveal this to me in the most unexpected manner. I was forced to come face to face with the issue, seemingly buried deep within me. It has been almost 10 years. i had grown. But I still couldnt comprehend. I refused to love freely. I was cautious.i held to my rights to feel hurt.I refused to forgive. Time numbed the pain, but it didnt heal. I know i had to make a choice.

Lord, would you please help me. Help me to forgive them, help me to forgive myself. Help me to surrender my rights to anger, my rights to hurts and my rights to pains. Help me Lord, to love as you love me. Help me Lord to serve, as you called me.