Everything has its Time

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born,
and a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain form embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - 8 (NKJV)

Father, i do not know what is your portion for me during this season.There are many things that i do not understand. But i want to continue to place my trust in You and You alone. Call me, catch me back when i run ahead. I just want to walk along with You.

Up ... Down ...

Ever felt really up and really down all within a day? This is what i am feeling now. Torn.

I was really happy that today is the end of a worrisome journey for a dear sister when we went to collect the medical report for her CT scan. It revealed no cancerous cells in her body...and this marks the end of the visits to NUH. We gleefully waved NUH goodbye as we walked out of the hospital. We are thankful for His mercy and lessons learnt during this journey. It is my 'UP' for today.

1101.My Down came this morning when i received the news that she ran out of the Home. I prayed and committed her to the Lord. I know He would keep her safe.

2000.i finally received a phonecall from her.She was in a friend's house.At least she is safe.

2345.Another call from her in tears and shouting in the background. My heart frozed. My mind raced ...'No, i would not go down to pick her now. She needs to learn. No. I would not even go down to the police station now. She needs to learn. No. I will not 'rescue' her this time. She needs to learn. No. I will not even meet her tomorrow. She needs to learn. She needs to learn to bear the consequences.'

0013.Another call from her from the public phone. They have called the police. They will be picking her up right now. Thank God. At least i know that she will be safe.

My heart really pains and cries out to her. I do not know if i am doing the right thing this time. But she needs to learn. Dear Lord, teach me to trust and commit her into your mighty and loving Hands. I know you love her much more than i do.

My dear girl, if you ever read this, i just want you to know that my decision for not going down and being there for you when you are most frighten and lost is not because i had given up on you, nor that i do not love you anymore. It hurts and pains me to stand by my decision right now. But i know, i am doing it because you really needs to learn the lesson of bearing the consequences of your decision. I love you too much to protect you anymore than that i had already done, least you fall into decisions with more dire consequences. It pains me equally to see you going through it alone right now. I hope to let you know that despite me not being there with you physically, you are in my heart and in my prayers. Dear girl, remember what i always tells you, Turn to Jesus when you are most frighten and lost and He would be there for you. He will send His angels to surround and protect you. Just turn to Him and believe.

Today is also the first time that i ever wished that you can be with me during these painful waiting hours. But i understand. Rest assure, i do.

If we hold on together

Don't lose your way, with each passing day
You've come so far, don't throw it away.
Live believing, dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start.
Live your story, faith, hope and glory
Hold to the truth in your heart.

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die.
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I.

Souls in the winds learn how to bend
Seek out a star, hold on till the end.
Valley, mountain, there is a fountain
Washes our tears all away.
Worlds are swaying, someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay.

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die.
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I.

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun.
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts every one.

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die.
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I.

Music by James Horner
Lyrics by Will Jennings

The Cs that i seek for ......

As conversation topics and catch ups with friends inevitably evolve around relationships, marriage, housing, finances, careers, the 6 Cs that Singaporean women seek for in their life partners came to my mind. This was many years ago and i am not sure how the Cs must have evolved now, but from memory lane, the Cs are ……

1. Career
2. Cash
3. Credit cards
4. Condominium
5. Cars
6. Country clubs memberships

As I ponder upon the above Cs, I realized that they are all fleeting and temporal external material assets. They can be easily taken away in a crisis, in a moment. They are articles with no lasting value, objects which we cannot bring forth with us when we leave the earthly realms. Can we and do we really find happiness and security from these Cs? I very much doubt so. In our worldly measure, can wealth ever be enough, be in abundance, be in excess? I do not think so. Is it not in our human nature to crave and seek for more, even with the much that we already had? It will always be a continual race to add, to multiply, to upgrade.

I seek not for the above. But that does not mean my ‘criteria’ for my life partner is any less stringent than that of the world. I actually have got more Cs in mind…..

Christ as the Lord and Saviour in my man,
Cleansed must he be by the blood of the lamb
Contentment with what he is given
Compassion as the ruling guide for all His Creation
Charitable heart in him for the sick, poor and needy
Consideration he possessed, even for the unworthy
Confidence he must have in our Lord, our Master
Commitment, steadfastness to His Mission, his Creator
Character in him that brings glory
Conduct, integrity, pleasing to our Lord Almighty
Consistent must he be
Credibility in him, his work I must see
Counsel he must give to set people free
Conviction of salvation must rule in thee

These are the Cs that I seek,
And I believe my Lord my Master will bring me to him as He deems fit.

What are the Cs that you are looking for?

Waiting

Steadfastness, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear.

S.D Gordon

Yes, Lord, i will learn to wait.I will place my trust and faith in you, knowing that you only has the very best for me and nothing can be taken away nor added to your plans.