I can only imagine ......

Dear friends,

do take time to finish this clip....the father's love for his son can only be imagined. But we all have a Heavenly Father whose love we can experience, as long as we open up our hearts to Him.

This clip is a great encouragement to me ... reminding me once again of my Father's love for me, His strong arms and how He pulls me along and lift me up when i am too tired to move on. I can only imagine the Day when i stand in His presence.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Hebrews 12:1



I can only imagine

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

{Chorus}:
Surrounded by Your glory,
what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus
or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence
or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah,
will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine. (less)

Reach ... Reach higher for your dreams

20th November 2007 10.10pm (Singapore time)/9.10pm (Cambodian time)
Divine appointment - MSN chat

I first knew him two and a half years ago in Cambodia. He was my first Cambodian friend, the first who bought me around Phnom Penh, the first who exposed me to the culture. He got a scholarship to study in the Singapore Management University. He achieved it through his own diligence and determination in the Cambodian education system consumed by corruption. I distinctly remembered our conversation that day - two and a half years ago.

" What made you study Economics in Singapore?"
" So that i can come back and help Cambodia. I want to return to help my country to build up the economy.In that way, i can help my people out of poverty."

This is his dreams.

He has got a good heart too. When he returned to Cambodia during his term break, instead of spending time with his famiy and friends, he chose to come over to our orphanage to volunteer as a translator for 2 months or so. This is how i got to know him.

Cambodia indeed need people like him - leaders of tomorrow with dreams and passion to help their own people. Leaders like him who cared enough for the majority - the poor. I am looking forward and will be praying for your return, my dear friend.

We lost touch.

Yesterday, we met again on msn.

"I am back in Phnom Penh (Cambodia), working in a bank now ... I have been drinking alot these days ... This is what the Cambodian adults in Phnom Penh do ... i just feel that time is slipping by ... "
My heart sank. Where did the youth with the zeal, passion and fervour to help his people went? What happened to your dreams?

More often than not, it is not easy to go against the tide, to fight solitary against a brutal system that wouldnt budge. It is not easy to live your dreams. But my dear friend, never give up.It is one small step at a time...with courage and determination, you can make a difference to your people. Life is a journey, a race. Continue to believe and i know you will be stronger, and you can reach higher for your dreams.

I will be cheering for you. I will be praying for you. Continue my dear friend, to live your dreams, to reach higher for your people.

Chorng, take heart, this is specially for you...



Artist: Gloria Estefan
Album: Destiny (1996)

Some dreams live on in time forever
Those dreams, you want with all your heart
And I’ll do, whatever it takes
Follow through with the promise I made
Put it all on the line
What I hoped for at last would be mine

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life
I’m gonna be stronger
Know that I’ve tried my very best
I’d put my spirit to the test
If I could reach

Some days are meant to be remembered
Those days we rise above the stars
So I’ll go the distance this time
Seeing more the higher I climb
That the more I believe
All the more that this dream will be mine

If I could reach, higher
If I could, if I could
If I could reach
Reach, I’d reach, I’d reach
I’d reach, I’d reach so much higher
Be stronger.

Foolish me, but I will follow Him

16th November 2007
I rejected a job offer which promises me a salary far beyond my expectation. I turned it down. How foolish! I am now waiting for another offer - same nature of work from another special school. They have yet to get back to me and i very much doubt they would offer me the same salary. The draw from the school is that they have got a group of dedicated and passionate Christian teachers. I lamented, shamefully with a tinge of 'resentment'. Foolish me! How foolish!
Then it strike me how easily i can too be tempted and lured by monetary rewards.

No one can serve two masters.Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Matthew 6:24

Thank you Father for this reminder.

God, am i hearing You correctly this time? Did You make a mistake, i wonder. Father, which way? Is this the lesson of Faith and Trust in You that You want me to learn, trusting that You have only the very best for me?

If you, then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:11

Father, indeed You are in control of every step in my life. There are NEVER any mistakes in Your sovereignty. Even when i am too blinded to see You, too deafen to hear You, i know that You are still there. And because nothing happens in any particular unless Your will is in it, i know i can place complete confidence and trust in You. Father, although i am feeling rather lost at the moment, i know that Your gentle Hand will be leading and guiding me.
Into Your Hands i place my hope, my future.

I will follow Him, follow Him where ever He may go ......

Indescribable

Indeed Lord, i cannot fathom Your thoughts, Your ways and Your directions. But i know Lord, You only have the very best for me. You are indescribable, uncontainable and all powerful. You are an amazing God. Lord, I just want to place my future into Your loving and mighty Hands.

Your child,
xiuli

In His Time

In His Time In His Time
He makes all things beautiful in His Time
Lord, please show me everyday
As you're teaching me Your way
That you do just what you say
In Your Time

In Your Time In Your Time
You make all things beautiful in Your Time
Lord, my life to you i brng
Make each song i have to sing
be to you a lovely thing
In Your Time

19th October 2007

After i updated the previous post, this song came to me. It was a song which i learnt since Primary school. When this song replayed once again in my mind, tears starting streaming down. It was a song that i kept in Cambodia, believing that the Lord will indeed make ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME. As the tears flow, images of the villages in Camodia came flooding back. The women in their kramas, the naked children with their dirty faces, legs and hands, the wrinkled and bended grandmothers, the rubbish dumps outside their houses....they just all came back.

Father, is this You crying for your lost children out there?

My heart aches for them once again. I realized too that i had gradually been drawn into the various mind and time captivating activites in this cosmopolitan city. I realized how i had been so self centered and immersed in my own affairs since i return, that i had even gradually forgotten them in my prayers. I had forgotten to pray for them.

Father, i thank You for beckoning me back to your heart.

Everything has its Time

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born,
and a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain form embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - 8 (NKJV)

Father, i do not know what is your portion for me during this season.There are many things that i do not understand. But i want to continue to place my trust in You and You alone. Call me, catch me back when i run ahead. I just want to walk along with You.

Up ... Down ...

Ever felt really up and really down all within a day? This is what i am feeling now. Torn.

I was really happy that today is the end of a worrisome journey for a dear sister when we went to collect the medical report for her CT scan. It revealed no cancerous cells in her body...and this marks the end of the visits to NUH. We gleefully waved NUH goodbye as we walked out of the hospital. We are thankful for His mercy and lessons learnt during this journey. It is my 'UP' for today.

1101.My Down came this morning when i received the news that she ran out of the Home. I prayed and committed her to the Lord. I know He would keep her safe.

2000.i finally received a phonecall from her.She was in a friend's house.At least she is safe.

2345.Another call from her in tears and shouting in the background. My heart frozed. My mind raced ...'No, i would not go down to pick her now. She needs to learn. No. I would not even go down to the police station now. She needs to learn. No. I will not 'rescue' her this time. She needs to learn. No. I will not even meet her tomorrow. She needs to learn. She needs to learn to bear the consequences.'

0013.Another call from her from the public phone. They have called the police. They will be picking her up right now. Thank God. At least i know that she will be safe.

My heart really pains and cries out to her. I do not know if i am doing the right thing this time. But she needs to learn. Dear Lord, teach me to trust and commit her into your mighty and loving Hands. I know you love her much more than i do.

My dear girl, if you ever read this, i just want you to know that my decision for not going down and being there for you when you are most frighten and lost is not because i had given up on you, nor that i do not love you anymore. It hurts and pains me to stand by my decision right now. But i know, i am doing it because you really needs to learn the lesson of bearing the consequences of your decision. I love you too much to protect you anymore than that i had already done, least you fall into decisions with more dire consequences. It pains me equally to see you going through it alone right now. I hope to let you know that despite me not being there with you physically, you are in my heart and in my prayers. Dear girl, remember what i always tells you, Turn to Jesus when you are most frighten and lost and He would be there for you. He will send His angels to surround and protect you. Just turn to Him and believe.

Today is also the first time that i ever wished that you can be with me during these painful waiting hours. But i understand. Rest assure, i do.