I will lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help comes from?

This psalm was shared to me a day apart from 2 different people.Thank you Father, for this reminder that you are still in control and that my help comes from You alone.

These weeks have been overwhelming for me. Perhaps it is my own expectations. Perhaps it is my own anxieties. Perhaps it is my time management. Perhaps i had learned to ignore it. Perhaps, perhaps. Perhaps. But i know it is time to make changes in my life ....NOW!

Thank God for the wake up call last saturday when i broke down and cried during my church activity - in the public. We were in the midst of a game - 'Block Catching', they call it. The flat just seems so daunting, too overwhelming. Fear gripped me. When i was left all alone on the 12th floor, my thoughts scare me. Paralysed. I cried. I was scared. Somehow thinking back, i have never felt that despair, that lost and that darkness before.

It really scares me.

I know it is time to make changes now.


Lord, You will be my strength and shield.

There is a time for everything ......a time to weep and a time to LAUGH .....(Ecc 3:4)

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones - Proverbs 17:22

When was the last time you laughed so hard that you cried? When was the last time you laughed till your tummy aches?



WAHAHAHAHAHHA ;o)

Temptations

I was young and now I am old,
yet i have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread - Psalm 37:25

Dear friend,

You broke my heart when i saw you that day - drunk. You arent like that in the past. Since i known you, that was the first time my heart turned cold during our conversation. You said things which sadden me. YOu made remarks which i didn't want to hear. You made suggestions and revealed dreams which warmed my heart. You made comments that lit a light in me. But who are you? You seemed so distant. I seemed to have forgotten you.

It's strange when i rode in your BIG car the next day. Our relationship have changed. Our status have changed. We have changed. Strangely in the short ride in the familiar dark road, i recalled that Christmas eve when we were trapped in the car - i was hungry, alone and cold. You were there. We laughed. We both missed our families, didnt we? I remembered the numerous times when the vehicles broke down. We prayed. We trusted. We survived, didnt we? I remembered those times. Those times when i couldnt call you friend yet.

Circumstances changed. Status changed. We changed. Have our values changed too?

I recalled the numerous times when we discussed about corruption. I recalled the anger we felt when we were at the mercy of those policemen, those officials, those teachers. We were indignant about it, didnt we? You had your dreams about your own country, about the future generations, about the values you want to pass on. You trusted in HIM to provide, didnt you? You held your principles in tough times, you made your tough choice when circumstances went against what you believed. YOu trusted Him to provide, didnt you? You went against the tide to hold on to your values. You fought for what you wanted - a clear conscience. You stood your ground, didnt you?

What happened? Had circumstances really changed? or have we changed? I remembered a friend once rebuking me saying,' Xiuli, don't judge. You have never been really poor before. You have never turly known hunger before. YOu have never experienced true loss, oppression and hardships before. Do not judge the people.'

Dear friend, i judge you not. But you broke His heart. You broke mine too. You broke His heart when you made excuses for your intended plans. You broke His heart when you compromised your values. You broke His heart when you chose to turn away from Him. Dear friend, it is still not too late. You remembered our session on Right and Wrong, don't you? You said you did. PLease dont take the wrong turn. Our Lord has said," Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever. For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off; the righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever." (Psalm 37:27 - 29)

Dear friend, it is still not too late. Turn back, please turn back.

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you;never will i forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" - Hebrews 13:5 - 6

Remember,God is good ALL the time.He will provide.

Praying for you,
your friend

Dear Lord Jesus,
I pray, i just pray for your mercy and grace for your children living in the oppressed country of Cambodia. Dear Lord, i pray for conviction for your children to stand firm and rooted in your word. Dear LOrd, i pray for strength and courage for your children to go against the tide, to remain faithful in their deeds. Dear Lord, i pray for your prescence to be with them when they are tempted, when they struggle. Dear LOrd, i pray for your Hands to comfort them when they are hardpressed. I pray dear Lord, Your children will shine forth as light and hope in the darken land. Dear LOrd, i pray, keep them and protect them against the lust of human nature.

Your child,
xiuli