Sin of Omission

28th April 2007

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. - James 4:17

Sin of omission. What is it exactly about?


I was disturbed during the meeting with my colleagues and director today. My director had wrongly accused a volunteer of a justifiable angry grumble - which i totally understood where the volunteer was coming from. Yet, none of us spoke up. None. Silence.

Father, what would You have done? Would You have spoken up? Is this what You meant by sin of omission? I really felt bad then after the meeting. However i am not sure if i should have spoken up though.

Father, teach me discernment and wisdom to know the times when i should speak up, and those when i should keep silent.

Father, will you accept my small cake of bread?

27th April 2007

Together with my colleagues, i went through a management training course by my executive director this afternoon. The topic was on strengths, weaknesses and talents of ourselves, staffs and children.

Talents ( as defined by my director ) - Whatever you can do repeatedly very well and very fast; something which not many people can do better than you.

“ What is your talent?”

I was taken aback for a moment. I recalled a conversation with a friend. “ Hey Siew Lee, you can't cook, you can't swim, you don't really play sports, you don't drive, you can't sing. What can you exactly do?” What are my talents, my strengths?

I used to think patience is my strength, until i realized how short tempered i can be.
I used to think i am empathic, until i realized how cynical i can get.
I used to think i am caring, until i realized how hardhearted i had became.
I used to think i am loving, until i realized how self – centered thoughts had engulfed me.

Father, what are my strengths? My spiritual gifts? Seriously at this stage of my life, i have got no answer.

She replied, “ I don't have any bread – only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it – and die.” - 1 Kings 17: 12b

My dear friends, no. I am not slipping into depression. For i know that our Lord has given us different gifts according to His grace. I just have yet to realize mine.

Though i cannot cook, much less bake, i am certain that my Father will accept my surrendered cakes of bread made from my handful of flour and drops oil - smashed, tasteless, half baked, burnt pieces - He will take them All.

Elijah said to her,” Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord gives rain on the land. She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food everyday for Elijah and for the woman and her family. - 1 Kings 17: 13 – 15

Father, here are my tiny little pieces of burnt and smashed bread. I am giving them to you. Take it.

Child-like Faith, Child-like Courage

She is a 5 year old girl, with faith as mighty as a mustard seed. Together with her older siblings, they went home to their grandmother's house during the Khmer (Cambodian) New Year two weeks ago.
The youngest and tiniest among her siblings, she, boldly 'rebuked' their grandmother for praying to the idols, 'they are the devils!!' she boldly proclaimed!
Such mighty faith, such conviction, such courage.

“ Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 18:1 – 4

Father, teach me child-like faith and total trust in you. Father, grant me courage and boldness to proclaim your name.

Caught

The police got her.

Is that you Jesus?

It was a dark and stormy night. i was down with a high fever, and there, it came! The perpetual 'sister, sister' knock on my door ( hmm, it is like the 2nd one within that hour) – just when i was about to fall asleep. Arrghhh, should i simply ignore it? It persisted and sounded urgent. Reluctantly, i crawled out of bed and answered the knock.

“ There is a lady who speaks only Mandarin wandering alone in the streets in the market. It is not safe. Can you speak to her?” came the request from the stranger.

I asked a few questions, reluctantly got my umbrella and paddled through the muddy streets of jumping frogs.

“ There she is.”

“ Come over to my place for the night. It is not safe out here.” I offered, yearning to return to bed.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12.

This verse rang loudly in my mind.

“ Shall i cook you a bowl of noodle?”

She ate. She apparently hasn't bathe nor had a proper meal for days.

I was deeply concerned. Through the bits i gathered from her pieces ( in my very limited Mandarin vocabulary), she traveled without documentation into Cambodia from Vietnam. However she claims that they ( she and her ' revolutionary movement') were given protection by the United Nations (UN) troops, thus they were allowed to move freely between the borders to seek asylum. Many questions remained evaded, more doubts surfaced. I was deeply burdened. What shall i do Lord? Grant me wisdom i pleaded desperately. I was frightened.

“For i was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in .....The king will reply,' I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least brothers of mine, you did for me.'” Matthew 25:35 – 40.

Suddenly it all made sense. Is that you Lord? In spite of all the rational speculations, 'danger' and anxiety involved in keeping her for the night, it suddenly dawned on me – Lord, is that you out there in the stormy night – cold, wet and hungry?

“ Come in my Lord, drink and have a bowl of noodle.”

Our Father's heart for the poor and needy

Today, i cried again. Even as i am typing this, ceaseless tears are still rolling down.
Why, i ask the Lord, Why? Somehow it seems like my heart is torn, stabbed, broken.

No. This time it wasn't tears of loneliness, fears, frustrations nor anger. It was tears of petitions and pleads.

I was listening to an audio sermon titled 'Helping the poor and needy'. The pastor was sharing about our Father's heart for the poor and needy and the church's community service projects in Singapore. Suddenly, images of the Cambodian villagers – the poor, needy and forgotten flashed before me. Endless tears started streaming down. Why God? I asked. Why? Have you forgotten your children in this land? Where is the help, the social agencies for them? Father, have mercy and extend your grace to us, to the people here.

Cambodia. I had grown to fall in love with the land, with the people. Unknowingly, in the midst of my journey here for the last 2 years, i had subconsciously learned to see beyond their adversities. I see beyond their pains, strength. I see beyond their materialistic poverty, capacity for simple joys. I see beyond their struggles, resilience.I had learned humility.

I was in the village last week where i witnessed the struggles of a family.

A mother's tears.

In my four days staying over in the village, she hasn't changed her clothes nor had a single bath. Her eldest 17 year old son was 'demon possessed' or so the villagers claimed. He was perfectly fine prior and simply snapped after a fever one day. He was violent. He was tied to a bamboo table 24 hours a day. There were scars of self injuries and stretch marks (from the tying)all over his body. In other words, he was unkempt, dirty. In the family's already dire financial state, she had in addition to care for her mentally unsound husband (suspected schizophrenia), and a younger 6 year old son. ( 2 of her middle children were already in the orphanage. We had brought them back to visit their parents for the Khmer New Year.). Tears. She was broken. When I saw her son being tied to the table, my heart cried out to God.

Father, have mercy, extend your grace. Help them, Father. Ease their pains, comfort them. Be their strength.

A son's prayers.

We prayed for him, for the family. Her son actually repeated the words ( in Khmer) numerous times as we prayed, “ Jesus, help me, Jesus, help me.”

Holy Spirit, be with him, be with this family. Help him.

A father's offer.

Dinner in the district hospital. The family barely had enough food for their meals and depended largely on the goodwill of neighbours for their daily provision.
“Have you had your dinner?” asked the father.” Come, join me.”. He offered without calculation, without hesitation.

Father, teach me to do the same.

A brother's arm

We took the youngest 6 year old son back with us in the orphanage. His entire materialistic possession – the pair of faded, torn shorts on his bottoms ( without undergarment) and his overgrown slippers. As we journey on our 6 hour lorry journey back, his elder 14 year old brother simply placed his arm protectively and lovingly over his younger brother. Father, what a sight - such love, such warmth.

Father, teach me to love the poor, the needy, the forgotten. - to love with Your Heart, with such passion and love that comes from you.

Father, teach me to pray for this family, for this land.

" Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82: 3 - 4

Good Friday

What does Good Friday holds for you?

Just as there were many who were appalled at him -
his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man
and his form marred beyond human likeness
Isaiah 52:14

How Deep the Father's Love for us

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon his shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts no power no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Stuart Townend


He told them, “ This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.” Luke 24: 46 - 47

hi...my first attempt at blogging. I just want to share my life journey with my family and friends back home. ;o)